What a day!

We have our little one! What a day!

We knew yesterday that we had an appointment at the adoption centre at 3pm. So the trick in the morning was to pass the time without us climbing the walls. We took Angelina to a park just before lunchtime. It was nice, but really TOO hot outside. I think the temperature was maybe 35/36 degrees outside and we were sweating just standing in one spot. A little different from what we are used to!

Our guide, Jack, came to the hotel at 1:30. We had to make a simple (!) run to the bank, then on to the adoption centre. Unfortunately, as it turned out, the banks in Guangzhou are not really thrilled about cashing travellers cheques and since the money to cover all our administrative expenses were brought in travellers cheques, that represented a bit of a problem. Originally the bank would only cash about 1/3 of what we needed. Our guide talked them into doubling that, and then actually withdrew some money to lend us from his own account, to make sure we had enough to get us through the day. Can't beat that! Anyway, the result was that it took us way longer than planned, so we raced back to the hotel around 2:30, Jon ran (literally) upstairs to the hotel room and said "time to go... right now" and we were away to the adoption stuff. Ok, now to the good stuff...

At the adoption centre, the folks from TCH were there and we met Jenny and talked for a while. The folks from the orphanage had to be "authoritative" in the adoption handover. They were not there yet, so we waited. Oh, Miah was with some of the caregivers in a play area behind a curtain but in we sneaked a couple of preliminary pics through the curtain. At one point they had to move her to a different room to have her foot prints done before the handover, so they carried her out right in front of us. We smiled and waved and she half-smiled back at us, which we thought might be an indication that this would go well. Not so much. When the actual handover happened, the caregiver handed Miah to Jon (which is quite unusual... the little one almost always goes to the mom). Anyway, she screamed and screamed... just wanted to get away from us. We tried for a few minutes to settle her down... entirely unsuccessfully. The whole time, Miah was pointing to the doors and rooms at the adoption centres, just wanted to be taken back to her caregivers that she knew.







We left the adoption centre, Miah still in floods of tears and took the van back to the hotel. A few mins away from the adoption centre, she fell asleep. Just like that. She just dropped, in about 3 seconds, and was gone. We managed to keep her asleep all the way back to the hotel, upstairs to the hotel room and to her crib, where she napped for about 45 minutes. We hoped when she woke she would be in better spirits. Nope! She woke up and was crying again... didn't want anything to do with us. She kept pointing to the door to the hotel room. We thought maybe it would settle her down to walk her around a bit, so we tried walking her around the hallways in the hotel for a while. She did settle a bit, but it was almost more heartbreaking to hear her cries here... you really got the sense that she was desperately searching for her way back to the life that she knew, and every time we turned a new corner she would search everywhere, but then let out a sob, that she still couldn't find anyone she knew, and her whole world was now filled with scenery she had never seen before.



In the end we decided to "make a stand" back at the hotel room. We realized that, while her searching appeased her a little bit, that we ultimately needed to show her and tell her that (for now at least) our hotel room is home, we are family, and this is where she will be staying... and that while it may not be good news to Miah right now, its the truth, and we may as well face it rather than just distracting with walks around the hotel. Of course, not a popular choice in the short term. She started to come around though and by about 7pm had settled down some, and would "permit" us to hold her, to touch her and to interact with her a bit. We even saw a couple of smiles before bed time. Bed time in fact, was quick. She clearly didn't want to go to bed, but didn't have the energy to fight. She protested, started to cry, but was out like a light in less than 10 seconds. Its now 5am on Tuesday and she is still snoozing, so we are glad she has had a good night's sleep and hopeful she will pick up where she left off last night, and we will have a happier day today.

So, about Miah... She is very very cute! She is also strong... both physically and emotionally. Not one bit afraid of what she wants. One key phrase we learned yesterday... "Boo yau" (basically means, "I don't want it"). Her most telling thing she said yesterday was "boo yau mama" --- I'll leave it to you to interpret! Our feelings weren't hurt though... it would be untrue to say we didn't expect a day at least somewhat like this. Oh, we also learned that the Chinese for please seemed to be "shay shay" (spelling could be off on all this, I'm just approximating) which actually directly translates to "thank you" but appears to be used in the context of "please" too (as in "thank you, get me away from these people"). She is also fiercely protective of her things... I assume just trying to protect the tiny little bit of world that she could control. She had 3 things, a book, a toy duck and a toy rabbit that Angelina gave to her... she held all those things close to her. Touching any one of them would bring about a huge meltdown. By the end of the day though, we could get through her dropping one of those toys, us saying "oops" and picking it up and giving it back to her. That was ok.



Now this entry would be incomplete without talking about Angelina. Angelina also had a rough day yesterday, and handled it like an absolute trooper. Angelina had become quite sure that Miah would like her the best, because she was small and they would identify with each other and become fast friends. Unfortunately, Miah really didn't want much to do with Angelina. Primarily because she was crying hysterically, but also because... I think Miah recognized she couldn't really fight her Mom and Dad.. we're just too big! Angelina though is much smaller, so I think Miah felt she could get away with being more forceful in her desire to get away from Angelina. Angelina tried SO hard... got toys, tried to give them to Miah, tried to hug her... put on a tea party for her... what a child... and you could tell the rejection was hurting, but she just wouldn't let it stop her. Angelina even told Dena later in the day that she was scared we would give Miah back because she was crying all the time. There's a lot going on inside Angelina... I think it was maybe quite complex for her emotionally to return to China and particularly, to return to an adoption centre. One of our stated goals for today is to be with Miah and to help her to progress in bonding with us... but also to not forget that Angelina is the "big sister" and needs love and attention and reassurance too. Sometimes she's so wise that we can forget she's just 4.



We are so blessed.

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